That’s what I’m calling you lately, these past few days: my pearl. Because I hold and envelop you, my body made you, and you’ll move on, beyond me, outlive me. Because I cuddle and hold you, and hold you while you sleep. Because you’re so precious and small. You’re like a little pearl. And right now you’re screaming because your dad has you and, from what I can hear, he didn’t let you crawl off the bed.
Ah, you’re officially crawling. Gold star x Mille.
We’re in LA and I love LA. It feels like the city I grew up in, mixed with a little San Francisco, and a pinch of Pt. Richmond, but not a lot. More like some SF grunge. Your dad hates it, and wants to tell me so every time I get starry-eyed and say, “I love LA!”
There’s a coffee shop here that has some Portland influence, maybe. First, it looks like a PDX coffee hipster joint. All brick walls painted white, a large double-book shelf with zines on it, youth music, Heart Coffee. Heart Coffee is the best in Portland, made in Portland. The zines had Portland designers/writers, like Will Bryant, who’s a bit of a star there (and who just moved to Texas). I love it and feel at home.
And the rest of LA? Also love it. It’s a little ticky-tacky with very small homes for high prices. Our price range would allow about two rooms in the hearts of where we want to live. But just outside of that we can get around four rooms. There are, however, a LOT of inlaw units. It seems to be a thing in LA, so Nana could stay in one, family could stay in one, it could be an artist studio.
I’m still not sure about raising you in LA, though. What are the kids like here? What are the parents like? I don’t know how to find that out. Maybe today we’ll hit a park and I can look for other moms? I did look up Boy Scouts here and it’s pretty big. I just need to learn more. Good and amazing for me… does that translate to you? However, we’ve seen little kids EVERYWHERE. At the coffee shops (with mom and daughter, matching scooters), walking in the shops, downtown, etc. There’s no lack of children in the City of Angels.
I love you, Sweet Love. I love waking up next to you, and helping to cultivate and culture you. Interestingly, these days you’ll never remember. This time, when we’re bonding and connecting, you’ll never know. The only thing you’ll have is a strength of self-worth and sense of love and, hopefully, a strong sense that you’re deserving of love. By all of this tender care, growth, laughter, adoration, you’ll come out with amnesia but strong feelings.
I hope you’ll know how much I utterly love you.